Interview

So I had my first interview today. It was at a local surgicenter for a PACU position.

I was so nervous.

My confidence has taken a big hit over the past few weeks, and I was feeling very inadequate.
I knew in order to interview well, I had to get into my cocky, you-would-be-lucky-to-have-me mode, but I didn’t know if I could do it anymore.

Turns out I really didn’t have to. The woman I interviewed with knew exactly what and who she wanted for the position, and it was me. I had all the qualifications she wanted and more. Most of the nurses there came from ED or ICU, so she knew my skill set, and knew how well I’d fit in with her team.

She’ll be calling me tomorrow, probably with an offer. She already asked me when I could start.

I wasn’t my cocky self, but I was personable and professional. I figured the worst that could happen would be a raging hot flash in the middle of the interview, and thankfully that didn’t happen. But I had a napkin in my purse just in case. And I guess most of the women who work there are going through the hot flashes too. They fight over the thermostat a lot I hear.

The hours are great (8-10 hour shifts instead of 12), no weekends or holidays, the pay is great, the people seem nice, and the whole place is in the midst of a remodel, so things will be brand-new and shiny. They provide all the scrubs, and I can eventually cross-train to surgery if I want to!

The worst part? The GIANT staff lounge, with the GIANT fridge, the GIANT pantry and the GIANT grill on the patio. And they cater in lunch every Friday. I was looking forward to getting back to work, so I wouldn’t sit around and grow fat at home. I don’t know how I can withstand the pressure if I get this job.

Am I stupid to say that I fear this job would be TOO comfortable?

Identity theft

So I’ve been unemployed for over a week now. I have been keeping busy, mostly with watching Owen while Cait goes through her new job orientation. I’ve been applying for jobs and sending out resumes and making followup calls. I have an interview next Tuesday, but that’s it so far.

I’ve been feeling anxious about being unemployed. I am scared to interact with the public, knowing I have no protection if someone complains about me. For brief flashes, I remember how great a nurse I was/am, and how much I enjoyed working with people. But then I get nervous again, and I think maybe I should just sit behind a desk and not talk to anyone ever.

But that’s just not me. I don’t think I want to do ED anymore, and I certainly won’t work in an inpatient unit, and I know I can do ANYTHING I want to, but I really don’t know what that is yet.

I just know I need a job. My identity is so wrapped up in my career. I know it’s just one part of who I am, but without it, I feel like something is missing. I need to get back to doing what Iove. Plus I need that paycheck. It gives me such a sense of pride and self-worth to contribute financially, especially dice Bill supported me for so long.

Bill and I decided I need to be back to work by June 1. So I have a little more time to find something I love. If I can’t do that, it will probably be agency or ED, which I can do and get paid well for, but not get attached to.

I write this as I sit in the deck on a sunny beautiful day, watching Owen play in the kiddie pool while the dogs doze at my feet.

Why do I need a job again?

Life goes on

So I got fired last week. Terminated. I didn’t do anything wrong, but it didn’t matter in the end. I had a hard time with it, and I’m still smarting, but most of the time my family distracted me. Oh, and my scleritis flared up too. Damned stress.

My men did the Warrior Dash this weekend, I’ve been watching Owen a lot, I’ve been keeping busy. I already applied for a few jobs and have an interview next week. And Kevin thinks I would make a great cashier at Pei Wei, and they’re hiring, so there’s that.

My family is my life, its true, but I need a job. My self-esteem is in the crapper, I’m alone with my thoughts too much, and I need a paycheck too.

One job that looks interesting is a research nurse position at the Big University. I fit the requirements to a tee, it’s pretty active, and uses all my skills. And I’d also get to use my brain and BSN training in research.

I miss my work family, but I’ll be okay. I’ll enjoy this break, and find that just-right job. Even my worst days are pretty good. I’m still luckier than most.

Busiest day ever

After a loooong day of food shopping, dropping off and picking up people, Decky’s book fair, watching Owen, making dinner, doing laundry, and Decky’s verrry late baseball game, I am exhausted. I feel like I’ve been literally running all day, and now I finally get to put my feet up and relax.

This is when I like to read alone on the couch with my feet up, but I don’t think my eyes will stay open very long. I will enjoy the quiet time, even if it’s just a little.

Because tomorrow it starts all over again. My busy life is good, but I sure would like a few days on a beach somewhere where I only have to be a girlfriend.

Back in the saddle?

So, remember the killer steep zig-zaggy hill in Ironwoods Park? Well, I ran UP that thing five times today!

Decky and I put his bike in the car and drove over to the park today. I walked/jogged, and Decky biked the circuit one way then back the other way, then Decky decided he wanted to explore the creek. Since we were at the base of the hairpin-curved devil of a hill, and I really wanted a good workout, I decided to run up it and see if I could make it to the sign about 3/4 of the way up. And I did! I ran down the hill too, but it was kind of hard on my knees, so I walked down it after that.

Since Decky was still exploring the creek, I ran up it again, walked down, then ran up again. Then, I went the other way and ran up a small steep grassy hill a few times. Then I did the killer hill again, and made Decky run up it with me the fifth time. Then Decky mountain-biked a small trail through the woods a few times, while I jogged/walked it.

We had the best time! It was cool and cloudy and windy, so I didn’t get overheated, and there were hardly any other people at the park. It was just perfect.

I don’t know what made me start jogging, but I just did, and then kept going. On and off mostly, keeping my heart rate up, but not killing myself.

I feel so much better about myself now. Too bad Bill took us out for pizza right afterwards. But at least I now feel like I actually have a chance at running the Color Run at the end of June, instead of walking it. That makes me feel good.